Occupy my ass, protesters.


Being on a college campus has never made me want to hit a stranger in the face more. Venice beach would be a close second. I’m so sick of stoners asking me to sign their legalize pot petition. And i think it’s great that you want to get rid of water bottles on campus but I just want to crawl back into my bed as soon as possible with some hot cocoa and Arrested Development on Netflix. Just a couple of days ago, as I was on my way to BUSINESS 101, occupiers were trying to lure me to their table to talk about god knows what I can really only assume it would be our feelings or how fun it is never taking showers and just being all around disgusting hippies. Do they not understand that I am not on their side? I’M GOING TO BUSINESS 101 TO BECOME A PART OF THE 1% YOU IDIOT. It’s a good thing those people have Burning Man or else I’m positive they would never get laid. I mean if you can’t get some at the LSD middle of the desert naked party, let’s be honest you’re the definition of forever alone. Anyways, this was my hippies-annoy-me-because-they’re-dirty-and-try-to-make-me-feel-like-a-monster-for-not-caring-about-their-precious-environment rant. Sorry I’m not sorry.

Noted. Shout out to all occupiers - please disengage. Repeat, do not engage this individual. Thank you.